A Day Like Today

You have those days when you just feel like crap and everyone around you treats you like shit too. It begins when you wake up in the morning and realize that the toilet paper ran out the day before and you forgot to buy more or when the toast gets burnt and the coffee’s too bitter. And when that happens, you just know what kind of day it’s going to be. And no matter how hard the people around you try, they just end up disappointing you more and more.

Sometimes it happens to you once a month, if you’re lucky, once a year but sometimes you just begin to feel like that every single day, every waking moment and even every moment you spend asleep and when that happens, you just know your life is ROYALLY FUCKED and you’re just happy to find a single moment of solitude when you can soak in the disaster that is...your pathetic life…

Today was one of those days. It began well enough, no burnt toast but the alarm conveniently forgot to go off putting me behind by an hour and a half before my day had even started. Work was…well…work was work, impossible, inconceivable, incorrigible, unpleasant and cold as ice. And just when I thought it couldn’t get worse…BAM! It did.

It was a rough day and a day like today should come once in a millennia but...I'll just have to wait and see what tomorrow has in store...

That Time of Year

Every time this time of the semester rolls around, I feel an overwhelming sense of confusion! A thousand emotions hit me at full-speed and leave me reeling! It's that time again..the end of another school year...already from freshman to sophomore to junior! I have no idea how this happened or when..i just know that it's happening way too fast and I really need to pause and take a breather. I need time...time to think, time to feel, time to experience and enjoy my years as a student. I'm not ready to step into the "big, bad world"...how do you really know when you are? But that's not why I'm confused...not why I'm so overwhelmed...it's the impossible sense of loss and sadness that grips me that is most confusing! Why do I feel this way? It's just the end of another year...there's 2 more to go and yet...every time I sit back in my chair and reflect on the last 2 years...the excitement, the exhilaration, the fun, the joy, the laughter, the winning, the celebrating and the friendships...I feel an inexplicable sense of pain. This year more so than before. I think it's because the end of this year marks the end of being babied...of having everything laid out for me...next year I spend a semester abroad and when I come back...everything will have changed...no more "adda" in the Jewett lobby, heck! no more Jewett at all! Off-campus, living our own lives...away from the madness of campus life...it's going to be so different...so strange. Packing your entire life into boxes and suitcases makes you realize how dispensable everything is. Shows you how everything can change in a matter of seconds...the once bedecked walls of my room, now lie bare and stark. The messy room lies in ghostly silence...in 4 days I fly home...home is happiness...that warm, snuggly feeling in the pit of my stomach...and yet this sense of absence and change and solitude looms large in the back of my mind. For, when I come back...everything will be different...everything will have changed and moved on...people will have changed...people may have forgotten...I think my biggest fear lies in being forgotten. I always want to know I've touched peoples' lives the same way they always touch mine. It's a strange feeling...it's impossible to explain...happy yet sad, accomplished yet afraid, surrounded by friends yet lonely, moving yet stagnant. To all my friends, I just want to say...you make my life brighter, better and happier...I love having you around...to talk to, to annoy, to fight with, to party with, to love, to complain to and to just be there for you...I hope nothing changes even though I know, a lot will...to Spring 2011!

Sometimes...

Sometimes all a girl wants is a little romance.

Tiny gestures, little things...flowers, chocolates, poetry, candlelight and some wine...Is that so strange? So alien? Is romance only the stuff of romantic comedies and romance novels? An archaic concept? Unfamiliar ground?

The world keeps spinning at a steady pace but no one has time.

What changed? Why did chivalry, romance and true love get lost in the pages of history? Why do women always want equality? And why do men believe them when they say they do, at least in matters of the heart? Who told men that the fairer sex no longer wanted those long-stemmed roses, serenades and violins? And when did we lose our right to being treated like the world by that special someone?

All a girl wants sometimes...is for her life to be a romantic comedy...where everything is perfect and incredibly romantic at the end...

The Power of Sound

On a cool summer night,

With the crickets abuzz,

I suddenly heard

What might constitute chaos.

I heard a raven caw,

An owl hoot in response

And then there was an uproar,

Of feathers, beaks and claws.

I ran toward it but I was too late.

I saw a baby squirrel lying in her grave.

Torn from limb to limb, she was a sorry sight

And all around her mourned the creatures of the night.

They weren’t to be seen

But their sounds were everywhere

And that is when I understood,

The power of sound in the night air.

Everyday Things...

Steaming Vanilla Lattes in Styrofoam cups,

Frosted breath on the cold window

Waiting for the bus…

Getting ready to go!

In walks the Professor

Clicker in hand,

There come the dreaded papers

I can barely stand…

I look out at the snow

Piling up on the sidewalk

And think of distant Kolkata

Reeling in summer’s shock!

Cherry trees blossom

Tulips in full bloom

The sun shines brightly

Driving away the gloom

Up we go,

The plane flies high

Over the sparkling ocean

Through the blue sky

Twinkling lights greet me

The seat belt sign switches off

My bags take hours and finally…

The pollution makes me cough!

Home is where the heart is

Somebody was right

It never felt so good

To step into the Kolkata night…