Sunday, 26 October 2008

Him 'n' Her





Since the first time she met him, she knew they were different. She expected nothing of him and he, in return, expected nothing of her. They spent hours and hours on the phone, talking about insanely nonsensical things. Every moment with him passed by too quickly and she barely had time to savour these moments. Life continued and their friendship grew. She nearly forgot about their differences. There were, of course, moments that served as rude reminders but the rest of the time was pure bliss. Their's was a unique relationship. Much talked about and rarely understood. They weren't the best of friends but, in fact, so much more. They grew up together and loved each other intensely. Again an emotion that was highly misunderstood by all those around them. They had their share of quarrels and squabbles, tears and anger but, i guess, that's what made them complete. A few months into their friendship, they realised, how little they knew of one another. Yet ignorance was bliss. Unspoken promises sealed their friendship. Each knew the other was always there to help. She was extremely self-absorbed and obsessed with herself. He was always obsessed with everything that was his life. They fought and made up, laughed and cried(actually, she did most of the crying) and spent many long hours trying to figure each other out. Very soon she began taking him for granted, like we do many things in life. She ignored his pleas for help and turned a deaf ear to his calls....Then came the day when he simply walked out of her life. One moment he was right beside her, trying to call her, and the next.....he was gone. She couldntremember why it happened. She didnt know when. She tried to deal with it but she couldnt. She didnt know how to react. She spent a long time looking for him. She searched in every nook and crany. She scoured the earth, heaven and hell. He was nowhere to be found. He had disappeared. He had come to her like an angel and disappeared when he thought she didnt need him. The truth is...she needed him now more than ever before...........but as life would have it....she had to sow what she had reaped...

Hope...


Hope this friendship lasts forever...

Love Songs...

Love songs are strange...sometimes they mean everything and sometimes they mean nothing...but for every moment I'm in love, every person I love...there is a song...a happy song, a sad song, a love song...but what song can describe love??is it a feeling shared by 2 people a feeling shared among siblings...or between parent and child...or is it a universal peace...shared by the human race?? songs make me feel love...realize how lucky and loved I am...each song draws out a face...each word draws out a memory...each note draws out a relationship...some good...some bad...people I want to forget and those that I want to remember forever...some songs meaningful in being meaningless...some unrelated but deeply related...unnecessarily emotional...bringing me to tears or lighting a smile...so many songs...so many lyrics and each with its unique people and experiences...if music be the food of love, play on...play on...play on...

Monday, 10 March 2008

What Goes On...?

There are times when memories and past events seem so distant and yet others when hot tears spring to my eyes at the thought of even the most insignificant event...as I turned 18 a few days ago, a thought loomed large in the dark recesses of my mind...my childhood has been everything I could have asked for then why does the future seem so bleak?? I've heard people say that a healthy childhood secures a healthy future, then why do I feel like I'm about to jump off a cliff and plummet into a black hole? I don't know where my life's headed or where I want to go...I'm confused about my feelings...I can feel my confusion...the candle that had illuminated the path ahead for 18yrs seems to have suddenly turned rebellious and gone out...what do I really want from my life?? I know I want to be creative but sometimes I find it very hard...I want to hold on to the familiar ever so tightly but the strangeness ahead beckons me...I want to smell the smells of bygone days but these aromas elude me...I want to hear familiarity speak but only the unfamiliar entices me...I'm a confused soul looking for meaning...in relationships, in sorrow, in parting, in tears, in rebellion, in faith, in memories, in life itself...who controls me? who will light the way when I'm far from security? Will I finally come into my own and mould my life as i will? so many questions fogging my brain...and the answers...refusing to surface from amid the turmoil...

Friday, 8 June 2007

Rain and me....

What is it about rain that is so intoxicating? As each drops pelt down on the warm earth, why does the body prickle? Why does the mind awaken and why do the memories flood the brain like rain water floods the streets?
The "shonda gondho" of rain brings to life the Bengali in me. I become a romantic; poetic almost and sometimes even philosophical! Ironic dont you think? After all people do believe that i am 'depthless'!
How similar are tears and rain? Each one with special powers to bring back painful memories and joyous ones too. I think of love when i think of rain, i think of tears when i think of love. Love and hurt just mingle so well...its like they were made for each other, like they were meant to be.
Monsoon arrives and people rejoice. My heart rejoices too...i know my restless heart will be put to rest as the raindrops wash away the fears and insecurities. I like to confide in the rain. It listens to me patiently and i know it will not tell...
I believe in the rain and i believe in its power to heal...